Oh! I forgot the best moment (well, for some versions of “best”). It went down like this:
The captain: “Okay, who’s on what position?”
Me: “Uh, I’m going to be terrible. Stick me in the outfield somewhere.”
The captain: “Okay, you’re right field.”
The next ten seconds transpires thusly:
A moment of total panic as I realize I don’t know which side “right field” is.
IS IT STAGE RIGHT OR HOUSE RIGHT??
I realize that in all my research I neglected to look up this very fundamental piece of vocabulary.
I begin wishing I hadn’t left my phone in the car so I could surreptitiously Google it . . .
Then the captain sort of waves at the side of the field behind first base. Aha! I grab my glove and jog over to that side. (And then we get creamed by the ex-pro baseball team.)
So, for those playing at home, “right field” is “right” from the perspective of home plate, not from the perspective of the outfield. Just for the record.